This article is part of a seven-part series inspired by What Color Is Your Parachute?, Richard Bolles’ classic guide to finding work that fits who you are. In his “Flower Exercise”, each petal represents one element of a fulfilling career: the skills you love using, the people you work best with, the environment that helps you thrive, your values, interests, geography and preferred level of responsibility. You can start anywhere or follow the series as each article stands alone, but together they form a single flower.
There are skills we learn because we must and there are skills we use because we cannot help ourselves. The first keep us competent; the second keep us alive. Bolles called these “transferable” and “motivated” skills and they form the first petal of the Flower Exercise.
This petal asks a simple but challenging question: what do you truly love doing? Not what you do well, or what your job requires, but what makes you lose track of time. Many of us spend years mastering skills that others value, only to realise they don’t spark joy. The purpose of this reflection is to separate ability from energy.
A Moment of Flow
There are moments in life when we feel closest to who we must really be. For me, one of those moments came when I began to understand what kind of doctor I wanted to become.
I had spent years in clinical medicine, doing work that mattered, but the pace was relentless. Late nights, early mornings, always another list to get through. I was constantly on the move, often cold, hungry and tired. Somewhere along the way, I had stopped taking care of myself. I was learning, yes, but also walking a fine line between being genuinely good at my job and quietly afraid that I might be terrible at it, often at the same time.
When it came time to choose a speciality, I chose pharmaceutical medicine. It was a decision about how I wanted to continue in my chosen profession. Suddenly my days had structure, sleep became regular and for the first time in years, I could think in peace.
When I started studying pharmaceutical medicine at Trinity College Dublin, something clicked. The concepts and theories made sense in a way that felt natural. I found myself reading because it was genuinely interesting. The work carried me along. It was satisfying. I think that was the first time in my adult life that learning felt like breathing.
When do you feel most yourself in your work, fully absorbed in what you are doing?
Recognising the Skills You Love
Bolles encouraged readers to think in verbs, not job titles. It is not “doctor”, “executive” or “coach”, but what you actually do when you are at your best. Here are a few examples of verbs that reveal motivated skills:
- Observing patterns others overlook
- Translating complex ideas into language people can understand
- Listening in a way that helps others hear themselves
- Encouraging people to grow without rescuing them
- Framing decisions so others can see the bigger picture
- Balancing empathy with accountability
- Questioning assumptions that limit progress
Ask yourself: when have you felt proud of something you did? What was the action at the heart of that moment?
To make this practical, choose five or six moments from your life, inside or outside work, when you felt fully engaged. For each, identify the verbs at the heart of what you were doing. You may start to see patterns: perhaps you are always bringing order to chaos or building bridges between people or transforming ideas into action.
Which activities make time move quickly for you, and what skills are you using when that happens?
Balancing Competence and Joy
It can be tempting to value only the skills that others reward. Society often measures success through external validation: title, compensation or proximity to power. Yet sustainable careers are built at the intersection of what you do well and what gives you energy. Skills that drain you can be used occasionally, but if they dominate your role, you risk burnout or boredom.
What I learned through that transition is that it is possible to be good at something and still feel empty doing it. Competence is not enough. Fulfilment comes from using your abilities in ways that spark joy. When learning becomes a form of curiosity rather than survival, energy replaces exhaustion.
When have you realised that being good at something was not the same as enjoying it? Where do your abilities and your sense of joy overlap most clearly?
A Question for Reflection
Take time this week to notice the difference between what you are good at and what you love doing. What do your moments of energy, focus and fulfilment have in common? Which skills appear in each of them, and what do those patterns reveal about the kind of work that fits you best?
Petal 1 invites us to notice the distinction between competence and joy. Understanding that difference helps us make choices that bring energy back into our work.
