ClariT

Menu
Let's Talk

Other People’s Opinions
of You Are None of Your Business

The right source of knowledge can be powerful professional growth, dark up right three

Read Blog

Recent Blogs

Looks Like A Duck, Quacks Like A Duck…But

I recently took part in an executive education programme—one of those courses that brings together business professionals from all over the world. Participants came from diverse industries, from aviation to pharma, from publicly listed companies to family businesses—some of them with legacies stretching over 200 years. It’s the kind of setting where people arrive with impressive credentials—and certain expectations. I was no exception. Specifically, I carried the assumption that people who attend programmes like these—diverse, international, well-travelled and highly educated people—would be more “like me” than not. That assumption didn’t survive the week. Case Study 1: Corporate Plumage In my first course, we were presented with a case involving a university’s long-standing relationship with a major corporate partner in the Middle East. The relationship had suddenly soured and the university had been ghosted. Eventually, it emerged that a newly published diversity and inclusion statement on the university’s website, accompanied by a rainbow flag, had triggered the break. We were invited to discuss how the university board might respond. Some participants felt that removing the flag would be cowardly. Others emphasised that for staff and students, the symbol was not just a gesture and it represented a lived and ongoing commitment to inclusion. Still others questioned whether such symbols should be adapted to different cultural contexts. One participant even suggested that no response was needed at all; the university wasn’t acting any differently than other Western institutions and the partner would return eventually, given the lack of comparable alternatives. As I listened, I realised I didn’t have a strong opinion one way or the other. I understood the need for a public inclusion statement. I’m used to seeing rainbow flags as a kind of seasonal badge on corporate websites during Pride month. Often, it signals allyship: bright and bold in June but often absent the rest of the year. I found myself watching the discussion unfold. In the end, the university chose to remove the flag from its website, while retaining the decorations on campus. I wonder whether the solution satisfied the corporate partner. CASE STUDY 2: THE DUCK NO ONE SAW COMING The next afternoon, I found myself walking to lunch with a woman I had met that morning. We were making small talk. I mentioned that I’d grown up in the Middle East and now lived in Ireland. She responded, “I’m sure that was a big change for you.” Trying to bridge the gap I sensed between us, I explained that, in fact, there were many shared values across both regions—particularly around family and community. She nodded, somewhat distractedly, then added that the media sources she followed painted a very different picture. For her, it was an ideological gap she wasn’t sure she could cross. Her comment was delivered with quiet certainty. Curious, I asked gently, “Have you ever lived in the Middle East?” She shook her head. “No.” We both seemed to understand that our conversation had reached its natural end.Afterward, I found myself reflecting on my own assumptions. I had expected that someone attending a global programme would arrive with nuance and curiosity. I assumed that my experiences were the norm. I assumed that everyone would engage across backgrounds and find resonance with the stories and identities in the room—including those of the many participants from non-European origins. That we would see each other as more than our phenotypic presentations—as mosaics: complex, layered and far from monolithic. As the week went on and we discussed concepts like confirmation bias, anchoring bias and sunk cost fallacies, what stayed with me was this: bias in decision-making and governance is hard to eliminate precisely because it’s often invisible to us. I had assumed that education and international exposure would naturally lead to openness. But as we explored in class, bias isn’t always loud or intentional. Often it shows up in what we don’t question—about others and about ourselves. Case Study 3: Alpha Duck Season Later in the week, I had dinner with a friend who was also attending the programme. We spoke about our respective course experiences. She shared a story from an earlier module, where she’d worked in a group that included two male executives she described as “classic alpha males.” They had immediately positioned themselves as the de facto leaders, sidelined quieter voices and offered unsolicited feedback—particularly to those from different cultural backgrounds—on how they could ‘lead better.’ I knew exactly what she meant.  We’ve all worked with those leadership archetypes and  I found myself thinking again about bias, fit and friction. The truth is, all kinds of people exist in all kinds of organisations. Some leadership styles resonate in one culture and fall flat in another. There are environments where my own way of working might not be a good fit. There are leaders I might quietly write off, whose approach ends up driving the next phase of someone else’s growth. The market doesn’t care who made whom uncomfortable. Growth is growth. Value speaks. My values might one day be the reason my organisation succeeds. Or they might be the thing that holds it back. It’s hard to know in the moment. The future is uncertain. We can only make sense of what worked when we look back to connect the dots. BOARDROOM TO INNER ROOM: Across each of these stories runs a common thread: the subtle expectation that others will mirror us and the discomfort when they don’t. I realised that my sense of belonging in these spaces is often built on being accepted and reflected. This week didn’t teach me how to include everyone. That was never the goal. It taught me how hard it is to stay curious.How quickly I draw conclusions. How fast my System 1 thinking kicks in searching for familiarity, scanning for signals that say “this person is like me.” I didn’t slow down in the moment. I didn’t ask better questions. I didn’t show up with the kind of curiosity I’d like to believe I value. It’s only in reflection that I’ve been able to see myself more clearly. To notice the speed of my thinking. To realise how easily I reach for coherence, even if it means oversimplifying someone else. I’m not writing this as a lesson. I’m writing it as a question. How do other people do it? How do you stay open, especially when your instincts are pushing for a quick conclusion? How do you pause the script you think you’ve seen before and let someone surprise you?

Read More

Whatever You Believe About Yourself Is True

It’s a powerful saying—one that reminds us we don’t parent in isolation. We need a community that protects, nurtures and uplifts our children. But what happens if that village isn’t there for you? Or if it doesn’t accept you?The Power of Self-BeliefWhen I believe I can do something, I always find a way. I get creative, persistent and ultimately make it happen. On the flip side, when I’ve convinced myself I can’t do something, I don’t even put myself in the race. I’ve discovered that no one can talk me out of my dreams more effectively than I can. No one can stir up my fears more than I can. And no one can make me feel sadder or more disappointed in myself than I can.That’s the power of our internal dialogue—our beliefs about ourselves shape our experience. And here’s the reality: we don’t really need outside help to stage these internal battles. We can do that all on our own. When There's No Choice But to Do It Redefining BraveryWe often think of bravery as a lack of fear, but I’ve realized that’s not true. Bravery isn’t about never feeling scared—it’s about doing it anyway. The real magic happens when we push our doubts and limiting beliefs out of the driver’s seat and bet on ourselves.Whose Opinion Really Matters?I’m not an island; no one is.  I do rely on a handful of trusted voices—people who hold the mirror up to myself. They help me uncover the strengths and struggles I might have overlooked. Still, it’s the starring role that I must play in my life’s unfolding narrative not the best supporting actor.  An interesting truth: the longest and most enduring relationship I will ever have in my life will be with myself.  I want to make it a good one.Final ThoughtsRemember: whatever you believe about yourself is true. If you believe in your ability to keep learning, growing, and overcoming obstacles, you’ll find a way to prove it. If you let self-doubt dictate your path, you’ll find plenty of reasons to stay right where you are.Your self-belief will either be your biggest ally or your greatest stumbling block. Choose wisely—and remember that your opinion of yourself is the one that ultimately matters.Coaching Tip:Next time you find yourself hesitating, ask: “What do I believe about my ability in this moment?” Challenge that belief if it’s limiting and consider how you might reframe it in a more empowering way. After all, what you believe becomes your reality.

Read More

The Empty Chair: Rethinking Gender, Equity and Allyship

I attended Skoll 2025 in Oxford earlier this month. A vibrant convergence of social entrepreneurs, researchers, activists and change agents from all over the world. I went to listen, to learn and to reconnect with the energy that drew me into this work in the first place.As I often do, I gravitated toward sessions focused on gender equity. I joined talks that tackled the structural inequalities women face in healthcare and beyond. I met passionate people — many of them working within NGOs that support women and girls globally. These spaces felt familiar. Empowering. Energising.Then, something happened that unsettled me in the most useful way.At one panel, the audience was predominantly women. The organisers encouraged discussion at our tables and I found myself seated with a few men — all engaged and thoughtful. One of them shared how he mentors boys through team sports, helping them develop confidence, belonging and emotional support. His story was sincere and grounded. Another man at the table spoke about the school he runs for marginalised girls in India. He wasn’t looking for praise. He was looking for partners — funders who might help expand the school and give his students more opportunities, more pathways out of structural inequality. His commitment was clear: he believed deeply in the power of education to transform lives.Both men were living examples of allyship in action. But what struck me most was how few other men were in the room to say anything at all. The next morning, over breakfast, I ran into a gentleman I’d seen at a few sessions. He asked how my day had gone and I mentioned the panel. He told me he had attended a feminist session as part of his personal goal to step out of his comfort zone. He looked thoughtful as he shared the experience with me.“It felt really angry,” he said. “A bit like some of the women were just venting. I heard a lot of talk about men being the problem. I remember thinking — that’s not me. I’m not the problem. I left feeling like my voice wasn’t needed.”He wasn’t trying to invalidate what he heard. He was telling me how it made him feel.And I’ve been reflecting on that ever since. I often speak — sometimes with intensity — about gendered gaps in health data. I highlight how women are excluded from clinical trials, how this leads to misdiagnosis, poor treatment and unnecessary harm. I cite the studies: less than 20% of participants in key HIV trials are women. I call out the systems that fail half the population. I get angry.But anger is a double-edged tool. It can be a catalyst for justice or a wall that blocks collaboration.When I say “not all men — but enough men,” I believe it. Now I’m wondering: am I pushing allies out?Feminism Is Not a MonolithFeminism isn’t one thing. It’s layered, evolving and deeply personal. Some approach it through advocacy, others through quiet parenting, policy work or direct service. We each carry our stories, our pain, our urgency.I’m learning that my version of feminism must also make room for those who are trying to meet me halfway — especially the men who are showing up in good faith, even if tentatively. I still believe deeply in equity and justice, but I know I can’t carry this burden alone. I don’t want to alienate those willing to help make things better.In the backdrop of this conversation is a growing online culture — the manosphere — where some boys and men are seeking validation in these spaces that promise belonging, control and agency. If even well-intentioned men start to feel unwelcome in feminist spaces, who are we losing to other narratives?Feminism Is Not a Monolith There’s an image I keep coming back to: a circle of people in deep conversation, with one empty chair left open. That chair is a quiet invitation — not a demand, not a test, just a space. A symbol of welcome.That’s what I want my feminism to look like now. Not just data and drive — but space.Because gender equity isn’t a women’s issue — it’s a societal one. And the only way we make real progress is if everyone who wants to be part of the solution sees that there’s a place for them at the table.Questions I’m Sitting With: How can I speak truthfully without speaking in absolutes?Can anger and inclusion share the same space?What would feminist advocacy look like if we led with invitation as well as intensity?I’m not sure I have the answers yet. But I know that I want to try differently. And that starts with the conversations I have — especially with the boys and men in my life.  

Read More

When “Blending In” Helps You Stand Out: Body Language, Little White Lies, and Finding Your Authentic Response

I recently read an article about the evolution of women stepping into roles on Wall Street—positions once deemed “inappropriate” or “unfitting” for them. From small brokerage houses to the floors of the New York Stock Exchange, these pioneering women often faced an uphill battle. Some tried to blend in—donning unflattering beige suits akin to the male uniform—while others, especially women of African ethnicity who already stood out, leaned into their uniqueness by wearing bold coloured suits and high heels. Around that same era, the term “glass ceiling” emerged, highlighting why capable women continued to be overlooked for promotions that went instead to “family men.”Discussions around acceptance, authenticity, and “fitting in” have always fascinated me. So, it’s not surprising that while I was still mulling over what I’d read, a real-life scenario about body language and belonging popped up closer to home—my son’s reluctance to go to his football match.The Football Field DilemmaOn match day, my son was adamant: “They’re not being kind to me,” “I don’t want to play.” It turned out some misunderstanding during practice had led to his coach thinking my son wasn’t trying his best. Meanwhile, he felt he’d been giving his all. This discrepancy between his internal effort and the coach’s perception deflated him.I’ve seen similar patterns with him before—sometimes he genuinely isn’t applying himself, sometimes he is, and sometimes it’s simply a communication breakdown. Either way, the mood and body language he projects is often “too cool for school,” and I strongly suspect that’s what happened during practice. Is Body Language a “Little White Lie”?In the coaching world, I often talk about how we present ourselves, especially in moments when we haven’t fully formulated an opinion or we’re uncertain how we feel. Sometimes we can appear distant or disengaged—even if that’s not our intention.This ties back to the women on Wall Street. Some wore those beige suits to blend in, essentially adopting a “little white lie” of sorts through their clothing to appear part of the tribe while they navigated a new, challenging environment. Others went the opposite route—loudly standing out because there was no chance to fade into the background anyway. Both tactics served as a way of managing perceptions until the women could prove their actual worth and capability. Cultural Norms and AuthenticityI grew up in an environment where honesty was paramount: “Lies of omission, little white lies—no difference, you’re lying!” was a common perception. And there’s certainly value in radical honesty. At the same time, we all know that different cultures have different norms: some are famed for directness (often criticized as “rude”), while others are lauded for politeness (sometimes labelled “fake” or “untrustworthy”). This interplay of authenticity and social courtesy can be confusing—especially in today’s workplaces, where many people worry about seeming disingenuous.But do we need to blurt out unpolished truths all the time? Or can we, at times, adjust our outward demeanour—our facial expressions, posture, and tone—to buy ourselves a few moments to think before responding? Is it “lying” or strategic self-regulation?Teaching My Son the Art of PerceptionComing back to my reluctant footballer. I decided to show him how his body language might be sabotaging his best efforts. We spent an hour practicing what earnest listening looks like:Rolling eyes? Out.Arms crossed tight across your chest? Out.Nodding gently to show attentiveness? In.Making comfortable (not glaring) eye contact? In.He thought it was hilariously over-the-top at first—“Mom, you’re exaggerating!”—but as we went through scenario after scenario, he started to see how he could convey that he was trying his best rather than “whatever, I’m bored.” The difference in perceived effort can be night and day, purely through these subtle cues. Why “Little White Lies” Can Be a KindnessSome might say teaching him to nod instead of roll his eyes is encouraging an inauthentic response—what if he really does feel bored or annoyed? But here’s the thing: there’s a time and a place for raw honesty, and a time to pause for clarity. If you’re feeling frustrated or misunderstood, the last thing you want to do is escalate the situation through negative body language. A more neutral or attentive demeanour gives you a moment to collect your thoughts, figure out what you truly believe, and then express it in a healthier way.ConclusionWhether it’s pioneering women on Wall Street blending in to earn a seat at the table, or a middle-schooler trying to show he’s all-in at football practice, we all navigate environments where our genuine intentions can be overshadowed by how we present ourselves. There’s a fine line between outright deceit and strategic self-regulation. Sometimes, the kindest, smartest thing we can do is adopt that “little white lie” in our posture or expression—long enough to find our centre, think clearly, and offer an authentic, well-considered response. My son now has a few extra tools in his communication toolkit, and I hope he’ll remember them next time he’s on the field. And for the rest of us, perhaps we can remember this: it’s not necessarily inauthentic to appear calm or engaged while we take a moment to gather ourselves. In doing so, we respect our own need to think—and the other person’s need to feel heard. Pro Tip: In both personal and professional scenarios, try experimenting with small shifts in your body language—especially when you feel triggered. Sometimes, just keeping your eyes soft and your shoulders relaxed can change the dynamic dramatically. The real trick is learning how to use these “little white lies” of body language to create space for your true voice to emerge, not to bury it.

Read More

The Power of Language: Celebrating Identity and Diversity in the Workplace

One of the delights of our interconnected world is the rich tapestry of languages and accents we encounter every day. We can effortlessly bridge borders, cultures and backgrounds—yet these same differences can also cause misunderstandings or even bias. I was reminded of this recently through two distinct back-to-back experiences that drove home just how important language, identity and potential can be when viewed through a culturally diverse lens. A Tale of Two Debates I came across a video on a popular social media platform featuring an articulate lady from Singapore engaging in a passionate debate—with flawless English—with a native-speaking British gentleman. As their ideological exchange intensified, the gentleman concluded by questioning why she wouldn’t debate in the “correct accent,” given her evident fluency. It was a jarring moment. Here was a woman confidently sharing her ideas, only to have someone imply that she was somehow “less than” or “incomplete” because her accent reflected her Singaporean roots rather than a British cadence. That single comment highlighted how accent and language can become a barrier to genuine exchange—particularly when one party views their version of English as the gold standard.Flipping the Script on Cool: Later that same evening, I spoke with a bilingual professional from India. In contrast to the first scenario, he shared a different perspective: He uses English in professional settings and Hindi in personal spaces. Despite his fluency in both, he noted that he feels (and is perceived to be) “cooler” when speaking Hindi. This perception was deeply tied to his sense of identity and authenticity—something many of us can relate to, no matter which language or accent we use to communicate. For him, English is the formal, polished language of meetings and emails, whereas Hindi allows him to express warmth, humour and familiarity. Rather than being “less” for not always leaning on English, he embraces the cultural confidence he gains when speaking in his mother tongue. Deeper Dive into Language and Leadership: 1. Challenge the Standard It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that one accent or dialect is the gold standard. We often see this in multinational corporations where employees who speak English with a “neutral” accent are unconsciously perceived as more competent or authoritative. Imagine a global team where the project lead speaks English with a strong French accent. During international meetings, her insights might be overlooked if team members subconsciously associate her accent with a lack of expertise. When colleagues recognize—and actively challenge—this unconscious bias, they begin to focus on the actual content of her ideas rather than the way she pronounces words. As a result, the team harnesses her unique perspective and avoids stifling innovation. Encourage your team to look beyond surface-level differences. This could mean implementing training sessions on unconscious bias or inviting speakers from diverse backgrounds to share their experiences. The goal is to raise awareness that there is no inherently superior standard—quality of thought should take centre stage over cultural differences. 2. Affirm Authenticity Language is deeply personal, shaped by culture, community and individual upbringing. When people feel they must sanitize their accent or avoid using culturally significant words, they lose a piece of themselves in the process. Consider a marketing team brainstorming session. One member, who is originally from Brazil, tends to pepper her speech with Portuguese expressions that capture nuances lost in direct English translations. If her team encourages her to speak freely, she brings a layer of authenticity and creativity that might spark more innovative campaign ideas. She feels valued, and the team benefits from her genuine input. Leaders can encourage authenticity by normalizing the use of culturally specific idioms or colloquial expressions, as long as everyone understands the context. Creating a “glossary” of common multilingual phrases used within the team can be a fun and interactive way to celebrate linguistic diversity. 3. Go Beyond Fluency Language is deeply personal, shaped by culture, community and individual upbringing. When people feel they must sanitize their accent or avoid using culturally significant words, they lose a piece of themselves in the process. Consider a marketing team brainstorming session. One member, who is originally from Brazil, tends to pepper her speech with Portuguese expressions that capture nuances lost in direct English translations. If her team encourages her to speak freely, she brings a layer of authenticity and creativity that might spark more innovative campaign ideas. She feels valued, and the team benefits from her genuine input. Create “language-friendly” zones or moments, such as casual coffee breaks where team members are welcome to converse in the language of their choice. When peers experience someone’s full range of expression, they gain a deeper respect and appreciation for that individual’s capabilities and humanity. 4. Affirm Authenticity As workplaces become more diverse, cultural intelligence—understanding and navigating cultural differences effectively—becomes essential. Leaders who actively cultivate this skill will be better poised to leverage the strengths of a multicultural team Imagine a global tech startup organizes regular “Culture Shares,” where each employee presents on an aspect of their home culture—this can include language, celebrations, or traditional practices. This not only educates the team on cultural nuances but also helps each member feel seen and understood. Over time, team members become more sensitive to how linguistic backgrounds shape communication styles and decision-making processes. Beyond celebrating holidays and sharing fun facts, make cultural intelligence a core part of leadership development. Offer workshops on cross-cultural communication, encourage mentorship programs that pair individuals from different backgrounds and recognize that accents and linguistic diversity are assets that enrich dialogue. Coaching Takeaway: Language isn’t just a tool for communication; it’s a gateway to our sense of self. When we create environments where accents, dialects and linguistic diversity are not just tolerated but celebrated, we empower teams to bring their full selves to the table. This freedom can unleash creativity, bolster teamwork and drive innovation. As leaders, mentors, or coaches, our job is to help people flourish by recognizing and honouring the strengths they already possess. This includes the subtle yet profound dimension of language. So the next time you hear someone switch languages or speak with an accent different from your own, pause and consider: How can I encourage them to bring their authentic voice forward? How can I learn from their unique perspectives? Ultimately, embracing linguistic diversity allows us to co-create workplaces where everyone’s voice—no matter the accent—is heard, respected and valued. By celebrating our differences, we tap into a richness of identity, culture and thought that can transform not just our teams, but our own capacity to grow and lead.

Read More

Finding the Right Soil: How to Grow and Thrive as a Cross-Cultural Family

“It takes a village to raise a child.”It’s a powerful saying—one that reminds us we don’t parent in isolation. We need a community that protects, nurtures and uplifts our children. But what happens if that village isn’t there for you? Or if it doesn’t accept you? My family recently faced this dilemma. We’re a multiracial, multicultural family who needed a school environment—a “village”—that embraced diversity, curiosity and internally mobile children. Our previous setting simply wasn’t that place. We left because, despite our best efforts, we couldn’t find the understanding and acceptance our children deserved. Below are some insights from our journey—wisdom that might guide you if you’re searching for your own village or soil in which to grow.1. Recognize When It’s Time to Move On Sometimes our first instinct is to “make it work” wherever we are. But there are times when the cost of fitting in becomes too high. My children heard remarks like:“No one is all of that—everyone is just one thing.” “You need to find a quiet environment, distraction-free environment andthen you’ll finish the homework in one hour like everyone else.” (instead of recognizing the role of dyslexia). “Boys need to get along,” when my son was bullied on the playground – yet he was punished when roles reversed.When these patterns repeat, it’s a sign that the environment isn’t supporting your family’s well-being. Recognizing it’s time to move on can be an act of love—for yourself and your children. Coaching Tip: Listen to your intuition. If your gut keeps telling you something is off, it probably is. You deserve an environment that helps you flourish.2. Understand That Identity Is ComplexAs a cross-cultural family, we’ve lived in multiple countries and hold passports different from our countries of origin. My biracial children don’t look like they’re from the same family, nor do they mirror a single, expected ‘image’ of their parents. People constantly make assumptions based on our appearance, accents or mannerisms. We’re frequently asked, “Where are you from?” but the answer is often too long to be worth the effort of listening. Identity doesn’t fit neatly into categories. Home can be anywhere you feel connected. It might not be where your appearance says you’re from; it could be a place or a network of places that accept you. Coaching Tip: Embrace and celebrate the complexity of who you are. Seek communities that value your unique blend of backgrounds, rather than those that try to define or limit you.3. Seek Diversity, Embrace Curiosity In our new school, there’s more diversity—cultural, linguistic, and otherwise. The teachers and community show genuine curiosity about our experiences and values. This shift has been revelatory. My children are changing some of their deeply held, self-limiting beliefs about themselves.“I’ve never had a grade before that reflected the amount of effort I put into my assignment.” “Mam, can I friend these people on my game? They’re in my class!” Coaching Tip: If you can, look for environments—schools, communities, organizations—that are curious, not critical. The more varied the social and cultural “touch points,” the more chances you and have to be understood and celebrated. 4. It’s OK to Stand Out Ever heard the saying, “You need to blend in first before you can stand out”?It’s natural to feel the urge to blend in or dim your light—especially when you enter a new environment or if you come from a background that differs from the majority culture. You might think that assimilation is the quickest path to acceptance. But what if despite a fluent command of language and culture you still have no hope of fitting in?Standing out is not necessarily a drawback; in fact, it can be your greatest strength. If your perspective, background, or style of communication breaks the mold, it means you bring fresh ideas and insights that others might find exciting. Embracing your uniqueness opens the door to opportunities that more authentically align with your values.As one of my professors recently said,“We used to teach people that you must grow wherever you find yourself. Now we teach them to select the soil where you are most likely to bloom.” This shift in perspective is crucial: No matter how determined or valuable you are, you can’t truly flourish if the surrounding environment doesn’t allow it. Rather than spending more of your energy trying to change yourself to fit in, the better path may be to find or create an environment that genuinely celebrates the qualities you bring.Coaching Tip: Identify the qualities that make you stand out—your unique talents, cultural insights, or ways of thinking—and consider whether your current environment truly supports them. If it doesn’t, look for or create spaces where those differences are celebrated. Embrace the fact that not every soil is fertile for every plant. Find the environment that lets you bloom, and you’ll flourish on your own terms.Trust the Process of Building (of Finding) Your Village Community doesn’t always come pre-packaged. Sometimes you build it from the ground up. Other times, you discover it in unexpected places. Don’t underestimate how quickly you can find “your people” when you open up, ask questions or offer support in return.Recently, I’ve been having coffee after school drop-off with a new grandparent who is learning English as a second language. She has a grandson in the same school. We communicate through Google Translate, bridging both linguistic and generational gaps in our conversations. We’ve covered everything from tourist destinations and the global rise of populism to healthcare inequalities in low- and middle-income countries. That simple connection led to a playdate between her grandson and my son—a huge success that ended with a promise to do it again soon. It’s a powerful reminder that community can grow from small, everyday moments when we step out of our comfort zones.Coaching Tip: Be proactive in seeking community groups, after-school programs, or clubs that share your family’s interests. Volunteer, attend local events, and connect with parents who value diversity. Mutual understanding blossoms when you take small, consistent steps toward connection. Closing Thoughts: If you are wondering where to find your village—or how to know if you should move on—take heart. You’re not alone in this search. The journey to find an environment that truly welcomes you can be long, and it’s never seamless, but it’s worth it. There will be bumps, misunderstandings, and the ever-present worry about whether you’ve made the right choice. But pay attention to the positives, like when your child is invited to a birthday party or a project that celebrates your child’s unique talents and remember that “home” isn’t always a fixed abode; it’s a space or community where you feel connected, understood and free to be yourself.Above all, don’t be afraid to stand out. Sometimes, choosing to bloom elsewhere is the best way to find the acceptance and opportunities you deserve.Call to Action: Reflect on whether your current environment is nourishing or draining.Start small. Reach out to at least one new group or community this month.Remind yourself and your loved ones often: “We deserve the soil in which we can thrive.” Your uniqueness is a gift—find a village that treasures it. When you do, you’ll be amazed at how quickly you’ll see blossoms.

Read More

Embracing the Journey: A Coaching Perspective on International Women’s Day

International Women’s Day (IWD) is an annual global celebration that highlights the extraordinary strides made in the women’s rights movement, recognising the cultural, political and socio-economic achievements of women around the world (United Nations, 2023). It’s also a day to remind ourselves that the push toward equality requires ongoing commitment from all of us—women and men alike. Yet for many of us, the conversation around women’s rights becomes especially vivid through personal life events. My own moment of awakening arrived when I became a mother. My eldest daughter was born nine weeks premature. She came so unexpectedly and her earliest years were filled with medical appointments, research and advocacy on her behalf. Those challenging years shaped me in ways I couldn’t have imagined and set a tone for how I show up—in my life, my work and my advocacy.“I still recall the surrealness of the words ‘daughter’ and ‘mother,’ how they felt new on my tongue. I remember being scared and feeling dismissed. Over time I became braver and learned how to speak up for what my daughter needed. I discovered exactly where my expertise lay and how important it was to be heard for her sake.”Those early days also taught me important lessons about resilience and purpose. Research suggests that when parents become primary advocates for children facing medical challenges, their sense of agency and confidence often grow (World Health Organization, 2018). My journey was no exception. In speaking up for my daughter, I discovered my capacity to lead in other arenas too. Balancing Careers and CaregivingMy career path took many twists and turns. I cared for my daughter, read many studies on premature infants, attended neonatology conferences and dedicated time to connecting with related communities and charities. I also returned to school to earn a master’s degree, changed jobs, had a second child, relocated countries, and then relocated all over again. Throughout it all, my husband and I traveled side by side. Yet our paths, while parallel, were never exactly the same. We’re both doctors, but I stepped back from my work more often. My income absorbed what I’ve come to call the “mommy price” reflecting how motherhood can temporarily reduce earning potential for many women (World Economic Forum, 2022). Nonetheless, these experiences have crystallised in me a firm belief that the progress of women’s rights is real—visible in every empowered decision we make and every supportive voice alongside us.Why We Need UnityOn International Women’s Day, I celebrate those individuals—women and men—who work tirelessly to break barriers for women. History shows that the collective participation of both genders in advancing women’s rights accelerates change (HeForShe, 2021). When men and women unite, we build momentum toward authentic equality for all, not just for women, but for every person who’s ever felt marginalised or unheard. Coaching Insights: Moving Forward Together Own Your Expertise Just as I found my voice by learning about neonatal care, you can build confidence by immersing yourself in the knowledge you need. Whether it’s advocating for a child, speaking up at work or challenging inequities in your community; expertise amplifies your voice. Share the Load Equality thrives when responsibilities are shared. Seek partnerships—whether personal or professional—that prioritise fair distribution of tasks and accountability. Acknowledge and Adapt Life rarely follows a linear path. Parenthood, career changes and cross-country moves can disrupt plans. Embrace these experiences as transformative opportunities. Adaptation isn’t failure; it’s resilience and growth. Advocate as a Team True progress happens when women and men collaborate. Encourage the allies in your life to join the conversation on equality, whether it’s in the home, the workplace or the broader society. Celebrate Every MilestoneFrom personal victories (like your child’s milestone) to collective achievements (like a policy change in your workplace), recognition keeps the momentum going. Celebrate the strides taken and use that energy to fuel the journey ahead. Looking AheadThis International Women’s Day—and every day to follow—is an opportunity to reflect on how far we’ve come and how far we still need to go. It’s a time to champion each other’s achievements, challenge dated norms and believe that unity across genders drives lasting impact.My story, and the stories of countless others, underscores that equality is not a pipe dream. It’s a goal we inch closer to every time we show up, speak up and stand up for one another. Whether we’re mothers advocating for our premature babies, professionals leaning into our careers after time away or men joining the chorus for equal rights; we all have a role to play.As you move through your own journey remember that your experiences, no matter how challenging, can shape and strengthen your resolve to make a difference. This International Women’s Day, celebrate both the individual and collective progress we’ve made and keep pushing toward a world where every person’s voice is valued equally.References: HeForShe (2021) Our mission. Available at: https://www.heforshe.org/ (Accessed: 8 March 2025).United Nations (2023) International Women’s Day. Available at: https://www.un.org/en/observances/womens-day (Accessed: 8 March 2025).World Health Organization (WHO) (2018) Preterm birth: Key facts. Available at: https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/preterm-birth (Accessed: 8 March 2025).World Economic Forum (2022) Global Gender Gap Report 2022. Available at: https://www.weforum.org/reports/global-gender-gap-report-2022 (Accessed: 8 March 2025).

Read More

Other People’s Opinions of You Are None of Your Business

Have you ever twisted yourself in knots over what someone else thinks of you—only to realize it didn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things? That’s exactly what my friend, Olivia, has been grappling with lately, and it all came to a head over a family holiday in Europe. The Holiday Dilemma Olivia’s plan was ambitious: invite her in-laws to spend a week at her long-time family friend, Dave’s (who’s incidentally also kinda famous; so not his real name) glorious cabin in Norway, all expenses paid. You’d think that kind of generosity would be welcomed, right? But her in-laws’ responses were, “Does the cabin come fully serviced with staff?” The implication? That if there were no staff for the duration of the holiday then it wouldn’t really be up to their standards. Cue the stress. My friend lives halfway across the world from Norway but she started hitting up her friend Dave to understand how to accommodate staff.” So now she’s asking, “Should it really be this hard?”Family Dynamics at Play To understand the tension, we’ve got to look at Olivia’s relationship with her in-laws. There are some strong personalities.  For example, her father-in-law demands respect and obedience from his family, and he’s known for expressing opinions on everything from career choices to fashion choices. He’s also made it clear that famous connections don’t impress him much; if anything, he tolerates Olivia because his son loves her not because her family is on a first name basis with the who’s who of Hollywood. The Real Question: Does It Even Matter? It’s not as though any of Olivia’s in-laws have ever directly stated, “I don’t like you.” On the contrary, they all showed up to the wedding, which at least implies tolerance if not enthusiastic acceptance. And let’s be honest: no two families ever blend seamlessly. Every family probably does a few things that another family find obnoxious, and vice versa. Yet everyone agreed to the marriage (or at least didn’t object), so here we are. So why is it “so hard?” Truth is, it doesn’t have to be.Acceptance, Alignment, and Moving Forward If both families gave (even reluctant) consent to the marriage, then each other’s unvoiced opinions remain just that—opinions. They’re private thoughts that neither side has felt the need to air publicly. If your gut feeling is that someone doesn’t like you, you can choose to let that eat you up inside, or you can let it go and focus on what matters: building a future together based on mutual respect, or at least peaceful coexistence. Minimum Viable Product: At the very least, each side can respect the other’s position. “I respect you as the father/mother/sibling/cousin of my husband.” “I respect you as the wife of my son.” That may not look like best-friend-level warmth, but it can be enough to keep things civil and supportive. So what should Olivia do about the trip? Simple: Extend the Invitation – Let everyone know the plan: a week in Norway, the cabin is available, and there might be staff there (if Dave can come through). Let Go of the Outcome – If some family members don’t want to come without a full VIP experience, that’s on them. If others do, fantastic. Live Your Life – Go ahead with the holiday. If people bow out this year, there’s always next year. In other words, don’t twist yourself into knots trying to please everyone—or gain the approval of someone who might never say the words you want to hear. Life’s too short, and vacations are meant for relaxing.Final Thoughts Other people’s opinions of you are truly none of your business. We can waste so much time replaying someone’s reactions in our heads, wondering if they disapprove, or trying to force them to change. Valuable real estate in your brain that is being occupied rent-free.  Instead, focus on your own happiness and the relationships that matter most. Sometimes, a simple, cordial invitation without emotional strings attached is all it takes to keep life moving forward—on your terms.Have you ever dealt with a situation where you suspected someone didn’t like you, but they never directly said it? How did you handle it, and what did you learn? Share your thoughts in the comments

Read More