Reframing Stuck Stories

When people feel stuck, it is almost never because they lack intelligence, discipline or opportunity. More often, they are carrying a story that feels true but is limiting their choices.

Design thinking calls these “dysfunctional beliefs.” Coaching simply calls them assumptions. They sound like this.

• “I’m is too old to learn something new.”
• “I need more experience to know how to handle this.”
• “I should have more to show for my life at this stage.”

These stories are powerful because they feel true. Many have been repeated by people we trust. Some come from fear. Some from habit. Some from kindness that was misunderstood.

Reframing is not positive thinking or “looking on the bright side.” It is a skill. A way of loosening the grip of a rigid self-limiting beliefs so that new options become possible.

A useful place to begin is with some factual questions. Is this belief universally true? Has it been true for everyone you know? What would your best friend say? What would your younger self say? Once the edges soften, even slightly, you have room to consider other explanations, interpretations and choices.

Reframing restores movement where your mind had unconsciously placed a wall.

A question for you

What belief has felt heavy lately? If it were only fifty per cent true instead of one hundred, what might change?

A small step

Write down one stuck story. Then write down three alternative explanations that could also be true.