This article is part of a seven-part series inspired by What Color Is Your Parachute?, Richard Bolles’ classic guide to finding work that fits who you are. In his “Flower Exercise”, each petal represents one element of a fulfilling career: the skills you love using, the people you work best with, the environment that helps you thrive, your values, interests, geography and preferred level of responsibility. You can start anywhere or follow the series as each article stands alone, but together they form a single flower.
The final petal of the Flower Exercise concerns the shape of your role. It invites you to reflect on how much responsibility you want, what kind of recognition you value and what level of income you consider fair and sustainable.
Salary, responsibility and title are often the most visible measures of success, yet they are also the least personal. This petal is about defining what enough means for you. It is about finding the balance between ambition and peace of mind.
Redefining Success
Much of my life has been shaped by responsibility, but not always the kind that comes with titles. For years, it was about meeting expectations set by others. As a child, that meant doing well at school. As a young doctor, it meant showing up, working hard and doing more than was asked. Later, it became about care. My daughter’s medical needs brought a different kind of responsibility, one that was constant, personal and impossible to hand over to someone else.
At different stages, I stepped back from paid work, but I never stopped working. When I could not be in full-time employment, I went back to university. I studied new subjects, gained new qualifications and kept my professional skills alive. Each return to work meant starting again, often overqualified and underestimated, but I learned how to rebuild credibility from the ground up. Those years taught me resilience and the discipline of beginning again with purpose.
Now, responsibility feels different. It is no longer about proving that I can carry more, but about choosing what I want to carry. My work today is varied and meaningful. I do it because it fits the life I have built around care, learning and contribution. Financial reward matters, but only when it represents fairness and respect. What I value most is the freedom to decide how my time is used, and the ability to make choices that honour both the people I care for and the person I continue to become.
How aligned are your role, your level of responsibility and the way you are rewarded for your work? Which of these feel most in tune with your values, and which might need to shift for you to feel truly fulfilled? What balance of responsibility, recognition and reward feels fair and fulfilling for the life you are living today?
Understanding the Shape That Fits You
As my understanding of responsibility has evolved, I have also realised that not everyone defines success in the same way. Bolles suggested that we all have a preferred “size” of role. Some people thrive in high-visibility positions with broad accountability and complex decision-making. Others prefer specialist or advisory roles where they can focus deeply without managing large teams. Neither path is better; they simply reflect different instincts and rhythms.
Research in organisational psychology supports this variety. Studies by Hackman and Oldham, and more recently by Parker and colleagues, show that autonomy, scope and clarity of responsibility strongly influence engagement and satisfaction, but the balance that feels right varies between individuals. The International Labour Organization also notes that work design and the degree of independence available to employees differ across countries and sectors, shaped by culture, opportunity and infrastructure. Together, these findings remind us that there is no single template for success. The modern workforce holds enough diversity in structure, pace and recognition to suit many different people.
For me, Petal 7 is about recognising that alignment. The right level of responsibility is one that allows me to stay engaged without losing balance, to feel valued without being defined by a title or a salary. Work has meaning when effort, recognition and reward are in proportion to the life that holds them.
Think back to the roles where you did your best work. Notice the breadth, depth, visibility, autonomy, accountability and expertise each required. Reflect on where you felt most energised and where you felt conflicted, whether through growth or misalignment. What patterns emerge in the roles that have brought out your best, and what have you learned from the ones that were less successful?
Ambition and Contentment
Ambition still matters, but I see it differently now. There are seasons to grow and seasons to steady yourself, times to stretch out of your comfort zone and times to pivot or pursue a different direction. Growth does not always mean taking on more; sometimes it means reflecting on whether your destination and values are still aligned.
I have seen people step away from senior roles on retirement to focus on mentoring or consulting and find renewed satisfaction in doing so. Their decision was not about retreat but about new discoveries. Knowing when to stretch and when to pause takes maturity and self-awareness. It is the wisdom to recognise what your life can hold at that moment. It frees you to choose opportunities that serve your values rather than your ego and to measure success by fit.
When you look at your current role, does it feel aligned with the life you are living today? Is it offering you the challenge to stretch, the steadiness to recover, or the balance to sustain you?
A Question for Reflection
Picture Petal 7, The Shape Of Your Role, as simple triangle. At the base, write what you need to feel secure. These are your non-negotiables, such as fair pay, clear expectations or a healthy balance between work and life. In the middle, note what you would like to have. These are things that can shift depending on your time and circumstance, such as opportunities to pause or grow, recognition or a voice in decisions that matter. At the top, write what would be ideal but not essential, the things that would enrich your work if circumstances allowed.
Step back and look at what you have written. What does it reveal about your priorities? Which parts belong firmly in the base and which can move as your life changes?
References
Bolles RN. What Color Is Your Parachute? A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers. 2022 ed. New York: Ten Speed Press; 2022.
Hackman JR, Oldham GR. Motivation through the design of work: Test of a theory. Organizational Behavior and Human Performance. 1976;16(2):250–79.
Parker SK, Knight C, Ohly S. Designing work that works in the contemporary world: Future directions for job design research. Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior. 2020;7:73–102. doi:10.1146/annurev-orgpsych-012119-044933.
Humphrey SE, Nahrgang JD, Morgeson FP. Integrating motivational, social, and contextual work design features: A meta-analytic summary and theoretical extension of the work design literature. Journal of Applied Psychology. 2007;92(5):1332–56.
International Labour Organization. Working from home: From invisibility to decent work. Geneva: ILO; 2020.